Magic Max-isms 3/25/15

In my column last week, I reported that I was a little under the weather.  Unfortunately, the storm cloud is still overhead so I am currently unable to write in my normal prolific style.

Last Sunday, my plans to spend a leisurely day at home ended with an EMS ride and a weeklong stay in the hospital, where I remain as this is being written.  At one point during the week, someone asked who was writing next week's column.  My kids put their heads together and decided that the rest of the world should get to share in the exchange of "Maxine-isms" that they have witnessed all week.  Any one was free to add their own words to the column.

And this is where the kids are taking over the writing so that their mother can continue to rest and recover.  One brother had his own words to share---he would like to use the words "the," "of," "and" and maybe "but" and "from."  They can be used in any order necessary to add to the story. 

The situation was serious as the evening began in the emergency room but sometimes laughter can be the best medicine and there has been no lack of it over the last week in spite of the ups and downs and new health issues that have presented themselves.  Following are bits and pieces of conversations that have played out over the week. 

Nurse:  "Maxine, it looks like you are going to spend the night."

Maxine:  "No, my kids just brought me in here to get checked out."

Nurse:  "We're going to put some patches on you."  (following two EKGs and being hooked up to monitors)

Maxine:  "I have had so many patches, I am going to look like a quilt."

Nurse:  "Do you need any financial counseling?"

Maxine:  "Other than the fact that I do not intend to pay this bill, I am fine."

Nurse:  "Who do you go to for emotional support?"

Maxine:  "I ain't got nobody."

Nurse:  "What about your personal relationships?"

Maxine:  "I've been a widow for 33 years.  I ain't got no relationships."

Nurse:  "If your heart stops, do you want us to do anything to get it started again."

Maxine:  "Not if you're sure I am already dead."

Nurse:  "Can you tell me your name and birth date?"

Maxine:  "I told you that yesterday; you really should remember it by now."

Nurse:  "Can you tell me your name and birth date?"

Maxine:  "I am going to report you for not being able to remember that."

Nurse (on Thursday afternoon):  "Will you still be here tomorrow?"

Maxine:  "I don't know. I was planning to go home last Sunday."

Visitor:  "Try to behave yourself."

Maxine:  "You won't recognize me if I do."

Nurse:  "How's your food look?"

Maxine:  "Not as good as I can do."

Son:  "How are things going?"

Maxine:  "Once I get the cooks trained, it will be better."

Nurse:  "Do you want the light on to eat?"

Maxine:  "Oh, I don't care.  It won't taste any better with the light on."

Maxine:  "It's cold at the west end of town."  

Translation:  "Please close up the gap in the back of my gown."

Daughter:  "The doctor was only in here 45 seconds this morning."

Maxine:  "Yeah, he saw I was alive and he left."

Nurse:  "I am going to take your vitals."

Maxine:  "That's okay as long as you bring them back."

Nurse, wanting to take a pulse:  "May I borrow your finger?"

Maxine:  "No, I'm using it."

We think you get the gist.  Mom has really been a great patient.  She has not complained and has been very appreciative of the care the nurses have given her and doesn't want to be a bother.  In all the years she has written Magic Moments, she has let her humor shine through and has not been too proud to share the silly, embarrassing and absent-minded things that she has done. Humor has been an important tool in celebrating the magic moments in her life as well as in coping with the tragedies and disappointments that life has sent her way.  Her humor has helped to lighten the work of her nurses, helped her children deal with seeing their mother ill, and helped herself to face the fears of dealing with changes in her health and the uncertainties of what is ahead.  It is her hope that through it all, she has also been able to bring a smile and a laugh to someone else.

(Max suffered a mild heart attack and will hopefully be well soon. Unfortunately during her recovery, she lost her sister and friend, Kork. Max and family would appreciate your prayers during this time.)

3 Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies 3/18/2015

I am a little under the weather.  This long, cold, snowy winter has not done me any justice. I am going to include a very simple recipe this week.  It matches how I am feeling and what my capabilities are at this time.  I will never lose my taste for dessert so that is the category that has been selected.

3 Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

1/2 Cup of peanut butter

3.4 ounce package instant vanilla pudding

1 egg

Mix ingredients together to form a soft dough.

Use a medium size cookie scoop to form into balls. Rolling them in sugar, makes them a little more special. Use a fork to crisscross them and smash them down a little. Place an a parchment covered cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes. Serves 9.

This recipe is so simple your children can handle it.  I think by spring, I will be able to do the same.  Oh, wait, spring officially arrives this week. I might have to wait until next week to tackle it.

Lenten Kindness 2/25/15

My heart usually sings a merry tune when February is over. To me that means that winter is on its way out!  I certainly hope that the weather man cooperates with my thinking. We have had enough snow for one winter, but can count our blessings that we are not in Boston. I have been house bound so much this winter I feel that I should wear a name tag whenever I go to the grocery store. I have been attending church on Saturday night so many times I am afraid they have assigned my usual seat on Sunday morning to someone else.

Magic was pretty scarce at my house this week except for a surprise visit from my farmer and his wife and the kindness of neighbors who kept my sidewalk and driveway cleared.  I used to enjoy doing it myself but those days are behind me. Also, this year the drifts were too deep for my little snow “pusher” to make any impression.

This is the season of Lent.  Remember that it is more important than what you give up and do not do. We will be judged also on what we do for others in need and if we treat those with whom we come in contact and family members with honesty and kindness.

Since I am out of magical happenings and still have to do several things yet this evening, (I got my nose in a book and couldn’t get it out so a few necessities just stayed undone) guess we well turn to recipes.  How about a couple of casseroles that will carry us through the remaining cold days?

            

HAMBURGER SPAGHETTI CASSEROLE

1 pound hamburger

1 ½ cup cooked spaghetti

1 can tomato soup

1 small onion chopped

12 slices Velveeta cheese

2 teaspoons butter

1 teaspoon chili powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Brown onion and hamburger. Cook spaghetti and drain. Add spaghetti, soup, 6 slices of cheese and seasonings to hamburger. Stir until cheese melts. Put in casserole dish with 6 slices of cheese on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

            

BAKED CHICKEN CASSEROLE

2 cups diced cooked chicken

2 cups diced celery

2 tablespoons chopped onion

½ cup chopped toasted almonds

2 tablespoons lemon juice

1 can cream of chicken soup

½ cup water chestnuts, sliced

½ cup grated cheddar cheese

potato chips, crushed

Combine all ingredients except cheese and chips. Place in small buttered casserole dish. Sprinkle with cheese and crushed chips. Bake at 350 degrees until hot and bubbly.

Keep smiling, spring is on its way.

Snow and Roses 2/19/15

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies by Taste of Home

After this brutal weekend I hope we can safely say that there will be only 6 more weeks of winter!  It was suggested that I not venture out for church, so I had my own private devotions with the aid of my television.  It is not the same but it fills the void created by staying home. I will do so for several more days according to the weather forecast.

I hope your Valentine’s Day was an uplifting day when you received and passed on the opportunity of letting people you love know they are important to you. Saturday was a real bummer weather-wise with a level 3 emergency declared, so that meant staying put was the order of the day.  I was sitting quietly in my lounge chair mentally assessing the probability of no company at all.  Imagine my surprise when the front door bell rang.  Standing there was a delivery man from a local nursery with a big smile on his face and a bouquet in his hand. Before snatching it quickly I ask him if he were not aware of a “level 3”.  His reply was, “Tell my boss that”.  

I was so curious to find out who sent me flowers, and I ripped off the tissue paper only to find a folded pink paper with my name and address on it. There was no card, so I unfolded, not too gently, the paper that was included.  There in big letters was the name of a Vietnam veteran who spent several months in action with my oldest son, Jim.  They formed an unusual friendship which has lasted all of these years. He lives in Los Angeles but comes to family weddings, etc., so we consider him family, too.  The flowers consisted of red roses, red buds, red carnations and greenery in a beautiful Valentine’s vase. It was a fantastic gesture which brought a few tears to my eyes.  A magic moment, indeed. It is still bringing pleasant thoughts as I see it daily. I will probably keep it on my dining room table until the red roses are dried and brown!  Thank you again, Carlos.

Since I have been housebound with just me, there is nothing else exciting to write about so l will just go to recipes. I have a new, to me, cookie recipe ready to bake for myself.  It is different than my favorite oatmeal, chocolate chip recipe, but it sounds as if it will be special.  I clipped it from a magazine a long time ago and do not remember which one, but the recipe has miraculously survived in my pile, I mean file of recipes to try.

            

PEANUT BUTTER OATMEAL COOKIES

1 ½ cups shortening

1 ½ cups peanut butter

2 cups packed brown sugar

3 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

3 cups quick-cooking oatmeal

2 cups whole wheat flour

2 teaspoons soda

1 teaspoon salt

Cram shortening and peanut butter. Add brown sugar, eggs and vanilla. Combine oats, flour, soda and salt. Mix well. Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto cookie sheet. Flatten with a fork. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes. (I could be tempted to add some chopped pecans!)

I have a cook book similar to the one I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. It has no date and has a small number of recipes but some of them intrigued me. Also some amounts suggest that they are from a number of years ago. Also directions are minimal. This one has possibilities if you are looking for ideas for meatless meals for Lent.

            

TUNA FISH POTATO CHIP CASSEROLE

1 ½ cups crushed potato chips

1 can tuna fish (I prefer Albacore)

1 can cream of mushroom soup

1 cup milk

Pour all ingredients into a buttered casserole dish. Mix together and top with more crushed potato chips. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.

Here is a very simple combination that you could whip up while preparing the rest of your meal. I have a hard time stretching my imagination around the combination of cherry pie filling and mandarin oranges. Make your own decision.

            

PINK SALAD

½ cup coconut

1 can cherry pie filling

1 ½ cups miniature marshmallows

1 can Mandarin oranges

1 ½ cup whipped topping

Mix and refrigerate.

Keep remembering that Spring is just around the corner.